Andrew Solomon Far From The Tree

This is from my blog about raising a legally blind, multiply-disabled child along with his sister (for more, go to familyconnect.org and click on the Blog "Raising James")

May 9, 2014
The Mile Run…and Longer Distance Events

Charlotte has qualified to do the mile-run race at the high school track. All kids who ran the mile in under ten minutes will be bussed from the…

My son was born 25 years ago with Transposition of the Greater Arteries. He was taken by Mercy flight to Boston Children's Hospital; I discharged myself from Buffalo Children's so that my husband & I could fly on a commercial airline to meet him. I can tell you that I relate to every aspect of your Ted Talk and have been reading your book, realizing that "only the names change" the stories remain…

I have been waiting my whole life for this book. My disability is more complex than I can explain. It involves medical components, emotional components, mental components, mobility components and more. It took me a long time for me to believe that I was even smart (with a 130-150 IQ I finally believe I am). It has been a lifetime struggle to define myself as more then just a disabled person, or a…

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s I would have to say most of it was pretty great. However, when it came to school I was at a loss, especially in math and reading. Though my siblings and friends were having no problems with learning, it was extremely difficult for me. When my parents and teachers asked what the problem was, I could not tell them because it is difficult to describe one’s problem…

Moy Moy is so much a part of our lives we sometimes forget that’s not true for everyone else. So here’s the story of Moy Moy, the reason for and the inspiration of much of the work of the Latika Roy Foundation (www.latikaroy.org).

Moy Moy is from a remote village in the Himalayas. Her mother had been sterilized after her 12th baby – but Moy Moy was conceived anyway. Determined to…

Judi Parker-from Grand Junction Sentinel can read about her amazing life. We were friends for 50 years and I can still see her mischievous smile as we walked/rolled (Judi was in a wheelchair her entire life) through the outdoor art of the main Grand Junction. She was rejected by her parents when she was born due to her deformities, had taught for 30 years, lived and drove on her own although she probably…

Self, family, and social acceptance. Children growing up in a family with a father with untreated bipolar disorder and a mother who had no clue, moving more than once a year, and never understanding relationships within the family or outside the family in society...

About four years ago, I was on a news assignment filming at an elementary school where they celebrate their annual pioneer day. I was about to begin filming four women teaching quilting when the teacher stood and introduced all but one of the women. Immediately one of the women from the group stood and said the words that I could not get out of my mind, "And This is my sister, Mary; she is also a…

When I was in a public elementary school in the late 1960’s, one of my friends had a younger sister with Down’s Syndrome. She attended the same school but was in a separate, self-contained classroom that we had no contact with except at lunchtime and recess. No one explained to us why she was so “weird”, as we said at the time. Most of my friends avoided having any contact with her whatsoever,…

My daughter spent the first month of her life suffering from brain seizures. They went away, but she has always been different. Now eight years old, she doesn't pay attention well, has trouble understanding other kids' social cues and is often unresponsive to me, her teachers, other kids, etc.

She's also creative, beautiful, energetic, and wise. When she's not tuning out the world and…

My daughters are adopted from foster care, now in their 20's: one daughter is mixed bipolar, learning disabled, recently denied social security and is living in a room in a house with her boyfriend; and the other has mixed psych dxs (also hypochrondria, compulsive lying), severely learning disabled and hearing impaired, still on social security and living in an adult living facility with others not…

It is not often that I find a book and realize as I read it that I have waited my whole life for such a book. That is my experience as I read “Far from the Tree.” I am the mother of 3 grown children and the concept of “vertical vs horizontal” identities is something I have never thought about. I grew up in New York City (Washington Heights) in the 50’s-60’s . I had an older brother who…

I was honored to meet Andrew, at a fundraiser that he and his partner John, hosted for my friend Spencer's film project related to Our Little Roses in Honduras. I felt so grateful to him and for his book and was blessed to be able to thank him face to face.

For about a year I was working on a memoir about my only sibling and our relationship. She has DS and we were born less than a year…

This Child
We had pizza on Long Ridge road in North Stamford, Connecticut after our daughter was conceived on January 2nd 1994. We lived in New York City and I was 37 and this was our first child. I was more afraid of losing the pregnancy than of having a child with Down syndrome so I declined the amniocentesis because I knew that this might be our only baby and there was a risk of miscarriage…

It was never in my genes to parent this way. Instead it's a learning curve that we are all going through in our family. Instead it's a grieving process and then a healing, accepting process that will be life-long. Such is our journey as the family of a child with intellectual disability, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. The early years of intervention, therapy and special education didn't teach any of…

More important than my story, i wish to thank Mr Solomon for writing what I think is one of the mostly timely and significant books of this century. I think you should win the Pulitzer for it. You have succeeded in writing the most profound and compassionate yet unsentimental study of the problems of identity and illness I have had the privilege of reading. You eloquently illustrate and articulate…

My name is Theresa McMillan, and I was born with a rare congenital birth defect called Moebius Syndrome. It affects the 6th and 7th facial nerves which causes paralysis of the muscles. I am not able to smile or have any facial expressions. I also have vision and hearing difficulties and hand and feet deformities and a slight learning disability.
When I was born the doctor and nurses were all…

My son, John, is 31 years old and has been diagnosed with multiple leaning disabilities, RSD, Epilepsy and Schizophrenia. I believe he has been living with many of these conditions since he was 5 months old. In spite of his challenges he is living independently, speaks at local mental health conferences and has received training as a Peer Specialist with the goal of working in a field where he has…

There have been many books written about ways to help people with special needs. I am aware of only one that speaks about how to develop a relationship with such people. There seems to be a consensus that they Need Fixing and the focus is on the Problem, not on their uniqueness and need to be understood. I’ve discovered that a deep relationship is possible, even when verbal communication is limited…

I gave birth to Taylor when I was twenty years old. I was a sophomore in college when my parents retired to Florida. In an attempt to create a good life for us, I left Chicago at the age of 23 to teach in NYC. Over the past seven years, I obtained three academic degrees and traveled to three different cities. As the parent of an autistic child I experienced some of the best and worst challenges on…

I'm a 53 year old involved in a hit and run accident at age 17. Since then I have overcome my disability. Now an advanced Hangglider with over 30 years, and 3000 hours. A big wave bodyboarder (been in the magazines Surfer, Bodyboarding) as well as skiing, sailing, kayaking, etc... also a welder. I'd like to write about my life story, and some of the amazing adventures I've done, to inspire others..…

I heard Mr. Solomon on WNYC this afternoon. You mentioned Tom and Karen Robards, who years ago became friends of ours. We met because my wife was the Treasurer of National Down Syndrome Society, NDSS, itself founded by friends of ours, Betsy and Barton Goodwin after they had a Down Syndrome baby.

This was in the early 80's. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, I was extremely…

My beautiful, talented daughter, Juliana, was attending graduate school at Yale when she became very ill with the flu. She continued to struggle along but then developed what appeared to be chronic fatigue syndrome, which became increasingly disabling. There are innumerable people out there who have similar conditions, which no one knows how to treat; conventional medicine has no answers, although…

My name is Byron, and I'm telling this story as if my son was telling it to you if he could.

Hello my name is Phoenix and I am a special young man. I'm 11 years old and I am as big as a 18 year old, I wear a size 13 shoe for those who can't picture my size. The big thing is I have a brain function level of a 2 year old and can through quit the fit to, it's like I'm having a two year old…

My daughter, Eve Troy was born on 12/29/10. I had a perfect pregnancy and had no idea there would be any problems. She is profoundly deaf, unable to eat on her own and requires a gastronomy tube, has an extremely difficult to manage eye condition called corneal anesthesia and she has both gross and fine motor delays. She has a cochlear implant which has yet to show many results. We are, however, communicating…