Andrew Solomon Far From The Tree

My daughter is 19 years old and has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It is considered one the most difficult mental illnesses to suffer with and to deal with for the sufferer and their family and the provider. My other daughter is 15 and is openly gay with ADHD and severe anxiety. My older daughter has a very high IQ and due to bpd being highly disregarded with a very low success…

From the time I was 12 on, my father would make me weigh myself before dinner. In front of my mom, my brother, food on the table. My father then would say " No one will love you ever ! Look at how fat you are." Today my very mentally ill son said, " If I was a drunk like you were, I would have blown my brains out years ago." My son's words were different but rang the same. Mental illness is not anyone's…

My son was born 25 years ago with Transposition of the Greater Arteries. He was taken by Mercy flight to Boston Children's Hospital; I discharged myself from Buffalo Children's so that my husband & I could fly on a commercial airline to meet him. I can tell you that I relate to every aspect of your Ted Talk and have been reading your book, realizing that "only the names change" the stories remain…

I have been waiting my whole life for this book. My disability is more complex than I can explain. It involves medical components, emotional components, mental components, mobility components and more. It took me a long time for me to believe that I was even smart (with a 130-150 IQ I finally believe I am). It has been a lifetime struggle to define myself as more then just a disabled person, or a…

I am a french young woman of 27 years old. My mother died when I was 20 of a cancer, which she had during 9 months. The particularity of my mother is that she was diagnosed as schizophrenic. It's just a word because each schizophrenic is different. The reality is that she was in great suffering. Since I was 8 years old, I knew my mother as someone who, sometimes, often, wanted to kill herself, as…

This book helped me as the parent of a son with addiction. None of the chapters specifically address addiction, but the challenges we face are equivalent to those described. The book helped me get to a place of acceptance and appreciation for the joy and growth my son has brought to my life. It helped me put addiction into a proper context of parenting a challenging son who has defied all my expectations…

My daughter was 9 years old when my mother had come for a visit and noticed that one leg was shorter than the other. I felt guilty that I hadn't seen it myself. I love my daughter, so how could I miss something like that? That's the question I had asked myself over and over. I thought, that sometimes when you go for a walk small children will complain that they are tired of walking. Little did I know,…

When I was in a public elementary school in the late 1960’s, one of my friends had a younger sister with Down’s Syndrome. She attended the same school but was in a separate, self-contained classroom that we had no contact with except at lunchtime and recess. No one explained to us why she was so “weird”, as we said at the time. Most of my friends avoided having any contact with her whatsoever,…

Cheryl was my first girlfriend. Actually we were both about 6 years old at the time. Her parents lived across the street just off the public square from my grandmother. Whenever my parents took me to visit my grandmother, I was urged to go across the street to see Cheryl. I would hesitatingly walk across the street and stand on the sidewalk by the rock wall around Cheryl's house and wait for someone…

My son, John, is 31 years old and has been diagnosed with multiple leaning disabilities, RSD, Epilepsy and Schizophrenia. I believe he has been living with many of these conditions since he was 5 months old. In spite of his challenges he is living independently, speaks at local mental health conferences and has received training as a Peer Specialist with the goal of working in a field where he has…

Just wanted to mention another danger of limb lengthening. You take a child out of his or her social environment and put them in great pain. Then the child is heavily medicated with opium related drugs. It does not take a child long to realize that these drugs help ease mental pain as well. Such surgeries add a real danger of addiction to the child's other challenges.

child sees
child knows
how this world goes and the child knows that the
expectations, desires, disappointments built into
the parent/child relationship became heightened when
the concept of prodigy, genius, precocious arose
behind expressions called gifts...but not for the child...
who recognized that another musical genius was just
that: another - and…

Despite 2 spinal fusions for severe scoliosis and chronic pain, I have managed to feel beautiful enough on the inside, that my outside really does not define me. As a Clinical Psychologist/RN I have strive to impart self acceptance and self love in the individual as well as support parents in helping their children appreciate and encourage their strengths. I recently wrote a book for kids that delivers…

My husband of 42 years has always suffered from depression, something he adamantly refused to acknowledge or seek treatment for even though his brother a prominent ophthalmologist used a shotgun to take his own life.

Then on the evening of Aug 8th of this year somewhere around 10:30PM my husband simply disappeared leaving me a note stating that he had left me. The note was actually written…

My story begins with my birth, I suppose most of our stories really begin there. My father was from the mountains of NC and he moved after serving in the Air Force for 4 years to S.C. (Greenville area/ eg...the "upstate of South Carolina") and he met my Mother in 1959 after his service to our country. He "courted my Mom" the old fashioned way, in July 1960 - they were married. I came along on January…

Do you have any advice for someone with 2 narcissistic parents? I am 47 & have finally given up trying to "woo" my parents into loving me & they no longer want a relationship with me (I stopped parenting them & trying to win their favor). How can you be successful/happy in any aspect of life without the love & support of your family? It is amazing how so many parents have unconditional love for their…

My fiance has an adopted child who has some violent tendencies and has been to multiple short- and long-term facilities for treatment. He has recently threatened to kill my fiance and was taken to a facility but was released to his mother after a few days even though there has not been a big change in attitude.

Where do you go for help if the resources available to you have not worked…

My family story is a Chinese box tale of learning disabilities…

I have a MSW and MFA in Creative Writing. I have been trying to write about the convoluted illnesses and disabilities in my family including my (totally unintended and thank you for allowing me to know I am not the only parent who would not have children if I could see the future) two sets of twins. I have so much and am…