Andrew Solomon Far From The Tree

No, I am not Elizabeth Bennet. But reading Far from the Tree made me ponder once more on my own prejudices and pride. It can be surprising to find prejudices in someone who has been object of so much prejudice herself, but I dare to say, it is not unusual that even people who have to struggle with their own differences are prejudiced. As the whole of humanity tend do be, after all. Andrew pointed…

I have been waiting my whole life for this book. My disability is more complex than I can explain. It involves medical components, emotional components, mental components, mobility components and more. It took me a long time for me to believe that I was even smart (with a 130-150 IQ I finally believe I am). It has been a lifetime struggle to define myself as more then just a disabled person, or a…

I met David in 1987--while he was wearing a dress. He'd come to a gathering at a friend's home, with three other transgendered folks, to talk about gender issues. At the time, he believed himself to be "just" a cross-dresser. And I was enthralled, struck by his honesty and vulnerability.

We were nearly 40 then, and he'd struggled with this proclivity for most of his life. Once, when he…

My gratitude to Andrew Solomon for this American love story is exceeded only by my pride in the generous and courageous families he profiled so tenderly. Their stories filled me with hope for the futures of all our children; all our sisters and brothers. Our dignity can never be guaranteed by legislation, nor do we have the luxury of waiting for the pendulum of historical change to swing toward a…

I had to come out twice in my life. To my parents, at least. Both times were embarrasing, and both were very disappointing. The first time was when I was sixteen. At eleven I knew I was gay, and I had given myself a deadline: Either I told my parents before I was 18, or I told my parents before that.
When I was sixteen I fell in love with a guy. We dated a bit. It was not a great love, but it…

Self, family, and social acceptance. Children growing up in a family with a father with untreated bipolar disorder and a mother who had no clue, moving more than once a year, and never understanding relationships within the family or outside the family in society...

My daughter, an American with Irish/ Scottish ancestry, married a man from Trinidad, with African/ indigenous west Indian ancestry, so their two children, a boy and a girl, are bi-racial and bi-cultural. As their grandmother I want them to be able to fully develop themselves and express their uniqueness without the limits of other people's prejudices. They look like neither race but are their own…

I am like many middle age women, I have more in common with my fellow sojourners than differences. Unfortunately, or fortunately as I see today, it was and continues to be my 'differences' that draw attention to me and not in the way of highlighting my gifts and talents.
I have always been a very tall female for my age; alas my age has caught up to my height. Along with the gift of height came…

When I was five years old, my mother divorced my biological father because he officially came out of the closet; three years later my mother remarried and we became a blended family, two children (my brother and I) from the first marriage, and three more children from the second marriage.

At the time that my mother was divorced and a single parent within a conservative and judgmental…

My daughter spent the first month of her life suffering from brain seizures. They went away, but she has always been different. Now eight years old, she doesn't pay attention well, has trouble understanding other kids' social cues and is often unresponsive to me, her teachers, other kids, etc.

She's also creative, beautiful, energetic, and wise. When she's not tuning out the world and…

My Caucasian kids grew up in the central highlands of Vietnam and in Singapore, until we moved back to the US last year. Celebrating differences is so important, but is so hard when the horizontal culture of American youth is determined to stamp out differences rather than celebrate them.

My daughters are adopted from foster care, now in their 20's: one daughter is mixed bipolar, learning disabled, recently denied social security and is living in a room in a house with her boyfriend; and the other has mixed psych dxs (also hypochrondria, compulsive lying), severely learning disabled and hearing impaired, still on social security and living in an adult living facility with others not…

Matthew Shepard was murdered in October of 1998. This was done because he was gay. He died alone, tied to a fence on the Wyoming range. He was a thoughtful, kind person and he left us at 21. I wrote a mini-poem for him and am absolutely convinced that Matthew's memory endures:

Matthew Shepard wide the sky, long and blue before my eye, endless you are, yes you stand me up, never really…

More important than my story, i wish to thank Mr Solomon for writing what I think is one of the mostly timely and significant books of this century. I think you should win the Pulitzer for it. You have succeeded in writing the most profound and compassionate yet unsentimental study of the problems of identity and illness I have had the privilege of reading. You eloquently illustrate and articulate…

There have been many books written about ways to help people with special needs. I am aware of only one that speaks about how to develop a relationship with such people. There seems to be a consensus that they Need Fixing and the focus is on the Problem, not on their uniqueness and need to be understood. I’ve discovered that a deep relationship is possible, even when verbal communication is limited…

When the Newtown shooting happened and Adam Lanza's brother said something like, "My brother has Asperger's or a personality disorder," my heart sank. My own son with Asperger Syndrome/HFA has just gotten a job at 14, wore button-down shirts everyday, and didn't have a single friend (but was not anti-social). I work as a
teacher in a school and, by Monday, an informal parent task force was forming…

My daughter, Eve Troy was born on 12/29/10. I had a perfect pregnancy and had no idea there would be any problems. She is profoundly deaf, unable to eat on her own and requires a gastronomy tube, has an extremely difficult to manage eye condition called corneal anesthesia and she has both gross and fine motor delays. She has a cochlear implant which has yet to show many results. We are, however, communicating…