Andrew Solomon Far From The Tree

I was born a "typical" child but have known cognitive disability since birth. My older brother has autism, but was diagnosed later in life. He is now 61 years old and despite doctor recommendations early on, always remained at home, but no school existed for him until he turned 8 and the school was a 2 hour bus ride away, a bus that he had been riding, to my mother's dismay, had broken brakes - and…

From the time I was 12 on, my father would make me weigh myself before dinner. In front of my mom, my brother, food on the table. My father then would say " No one will love you ever ! Look at how fat you are." Today my very mentally ill son said, " If I was a drunk like you were, I would have blown my brains out years ago." My son's words were different but rang the same. Mental illness is not anyone's…

This is from my blog about raising a legally blind, multiply-disabled child along with his sister (for more, go to familyconnect.org and click on the Blog "Raising James")

May 9, 2014
The Mile Run…and Longer Distance Events

Charlotte has qualified to do the mile-run race at the high school track. All kids who ran the mile in under ten minutes will be bussed from the…

My son was born 25 years ago with Transposition of the Greater Arteries. He was taken by Mercy flight to Boston Children's Hospital; I discharged myself from Buffalo Children's so that my husband & I could fly on a commercial airline to meet him. I can tell you that I relate to every aspect of your Ted Talk and have been reading your book, realizing that "only the names change" the stories remain…

Andrew Solomon gets this as right as possible. I celebrate your message and the vehicle you have given all of us parents of exceptional kids. We love, as hard as we can, even when it would seem impossible to go on. As the word and the message find their way to the surface, so the needs of the child, my child, find their way to priority in my life.
My son is a giant. He lives with gigantism.…

I'm the lesbian mother, with my wife, by donor insemination, of a transgender son and a dwarf son (plus a third son as well). We gave birth in 1981 and 1984, before our children had many options of horizontal identities among children of LGBT parents. (My book, the Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook, HarperCollins, came out in 1993). My professional life as a psychologist includes an expertise in…

When I was in a public elementary school in the late 1960’s, one of my friends had a younger sister with Down’s Syndrome. She attended the same school but was in a separate, self-contained classroom that we had no contact with except at lunchtime and recess. No one explained to us why she was so “weird”, as we said at the time. Most of my friends avoided having any contact with her whatsoever,…

It was never in my genes to parent this way. Instead it's a learning curve that we are all going through in our family. Instead it's a grieving process and then a healing, accepting process that will be life-long. Such is our journey as the family of a child with intellectual disability, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. The early years of intervention, therapy and special education didn't teach any of…

Our son came to us through the Foster Care system when he was 4. We adopted him, and his 2 siblings, 2 years later. We know that he suffered emotional, physical and, now we know, sexual abuse. He struggles in social situations, had previously had violent outbursts, and has finally been able to show empathy. This past year he broke our trust that we had been building, and he broke our hearts. We now…

My name is Byron, and I'm telling this story as if my son was telling it to you if he could.

Hello my name is Phoenix and I am a special young man. I'm 11 years old and I am as big as a 18 year old, I wear a size 13 shoe for those who can't picture my size. The big thing is I have a brain function level of a 2 year old and can through quit the fit to, it's like I'm having a two year old…

Where to begin. We didn't really know any deaf people before Harry was identified as deaf at the age of 4 months. The idea of "Deaf culture" seemed crazy to me. How could my baby have a different culture to our own? It was as crazy as if the audiologist had said "It turns out your son is congenitally Jewish, you're going to have to buy a second set of dishes and learn Hebrew." No. Culture is something…

My daughter (17) was born with bilateral cataracts and glaucoma. She is legally blind. Her eyes do not look "normal", she wears "coke bottle" glasses and on top of all this, she follows the beat of her own drum. This has caused her many social issues and problems. She is extremely bright and funny but, is just not your typical 17 year old. The first chapter in this book has changed my life. I spent…

I have always believed that the most important relationship we have is with our parents - they validate us, they make us feel safe, and give us the extraordinary gift of believing in us and that we can "do". I am the mother of 3 grown sons, one of whom is gay, and I have always strived to make them feel wanted and loved and that they belong. Relationships are complex and can be difficult, but it's…