Andrew Solomon Far From The Tree

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      Son Deaf Dwarfs Down Syndrome Autism Schizophrenia Disability Prodigies Rape Crime Transgender Father
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      Love Hope Policy Transcendence Struggle Illness Identity Activism Prejudice Belief Breakthroughs Science
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      Son Deaf Dwarfs Down Syndrome Autism Schizophrenia Disability Prodigies Rape Crime Transgender Father
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      Love Hope Policy Transcendence Struggle Illness Identity Activism Prejudice Belief Breakthroughs Science
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Erika C Waste Not, Want Not NH , USA
My son was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 1yr, 10mos. I was in denial from that day. We sought more opinions and though I am lucky to live right outside of Boston, the mecca of medicine, having access to the best, most cutting-edge of treatment, I still had a very difficult time accepting that my son wasn't "normal". To me, he had up to that point seemed normal because he was and is my only child, so I knew no different. Once the diagnosis was confirmed it was a whirlwind of evaluations and appointments that followed. He was soon after, diagnosed as being Nonverbal as well, and still is at almost 6 yrs old.

It was dizzying to me, as until now, I have always had a pretty average, fulfilling life which knew little hardship. My husband had an even harder time, so I had no choice but to "pretend" to be the rock of the family, while I myself had little support from my own family who seemed to say and do all the wrong things which made my life more difficult to bear.

However, as time went on, I changed.
In the beginning, I was so concerned from what I read online and heard from EI and my son's School, about his therapy and what he needed, medical interventions and behavioral treatments, that I was a walking body of complete anxiety and worry about my son's future.

After about a year & 1/2 of living in self-imposed agony, I learned my most valuable lesson that has made my life with Autism playing the most central role, remarkably less stressful, and ironically, enjoyable. What I consider to be my best lesson from my son's Nonverbal Autism, is my conscious choice to STOP placing every waking moment's focus on my son's future, and instead, focusing on TODAY; Each day's special moments and each day's obstacles. I decided to allow the future to come as it would no doubt do anyway.
I am not consumed with my son's life when he reaches age 10, because right now he is only 6 and I am focused on providing him with a happy, loving, fulfilling and enriched life each and every day, and in turn, I have found peace and joy again in my own life. I adapted. Peace and joy is once again in my household, and for all our uniqueness as being not your average family, we are just as "normal" as I will EVER know "normal" to be. This is the only child I have, the only family I have, and the only CHANCE I have at making it great.
Related themes and chapters: Autism Love Hope
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