Dyslexia and Unknown Mental Illness
Hello, I struggle to understand my 24 year old son. He has dyslexia and likely some undiagnosed mental illness that he has worked very hard to hide from me and everyone else. He was in therapy with either his 6th or 7th therapist and I think she was making progress with him, but he sabatoged that arrangement and blamed her for continually screwing up thier appointment times -- she is my therapist too and I don't have the same experience (she can confuse things a bit sometimes, but not to the extent he says). I've had to separate myself from him and we are estranged because no matter what happens, he tries to push the blame onto me in one form or another. I don't know what to do anymore and have tried every approach I can think of without success. In July he emailed me telling me that he'd at some point considered suicide and when I saw him the day after that email, I missed my opportunity to take him to the ER to be evaluated, because I approached him after that to tell him he should be properly evaluated by a psychiatrist and he refused. I'm desparate but I have no options. I went to his apartment and for the first time since I threw him out three years earlier for routinely lying to me for months (it turns out it was for years, he later admitted) met one of his roommates who let me in to look around for my computers that he was working on and that's when I discovered that he smokes something other than cigarettes (the apartment stunk of smoke and he had an ashtray with only ashes in it, no cigarette butts). I wish someone had a magic wand to bring him to reality, so he can understand how much I've always loved him and how I wish he was happier and less self-destructive -- he bailed twice from the Navy (they were going to train him with computers and he said he wanted to be a SEAL), just before being sent to boot-camp. He's since been working in a laundrymat folding clothes. I don't know if he's gay (not that I'd care), or who his friends are and whenever someone gets too close to who he really is, he cuts them off and begins to throw accusations at them (my whole family). Basically, I try not to think about him because all it does is make me cry. The therapist has acknowledged that he is beyond her skillset. No other therapist managed to get as far with him as she had -- I had him in therapy since he was 6 when we mistakenly thought he had ADD. If you'd like to talk to me further about this I'd be glad to.