Thoughts from Andrew

Hope

The word hopeless is often used to describe people whose conditions are incurable, but hope can be the redeeming surprise of such conditions.

Experience that looks terrifying from the outside may be joyful from within. Hope is the engine of social changes that mitigate disability and difference.

If, as Foucault argued, "life is what is capable of error," and error itself is "at the root of what makes human thought and its history,"…

Rumi said that the light enters you at the bandaged place. Most of the families I met ended up grateful for experiences they would have done anything…

Someone asked Ray Kenney, director of the Empire State Association for the Deaf, whether he had any experience leading a protest. He shrugged and signed…

"Parents of deaf kids should know not to be afraid, not to let their kid be afraid. My parents made sure I was never afraid." –Spencer Montan…

The deaf alliance in Bengkala is extremely free in every sense except geography; their freedom is predicated on a linguistic fluency shared only in their…

"The grandparents could see adult dwarfs and realize, okay, this is what Sam's going to look like. We went for Sam, but also so we could be comfortable…

"I was in the elevator at Johns Hopkins hospital for one of my daughter’s treatments. I was carrying her on the elevator. This other mother got…

"I recognize the gift that’s been given. If someone had said to me, 'Betty, how'd you like to give birth to a lesbian dwarf?’ I wouldn't have…

Early Intervention is the full expression of the nature over nurture argument—the ultimate triumph of psychoanalysis, civil rights, and empathy over…

"I'll tell them all the good things and some difficulties. The parents may never accept what happened to them, and yet accept their child. They’re…

Every parent, without exception, reported on children who tried hard to please them. Stubborn, intractable when stuck on an idea, they nonetheless had…

"In the Torah, they describe building this huge tabernacle out in the wilderness with two angels facing each other, because that is where God exists,…

"If you gather a whole group of six-year-olds together, they'll have a much wider range of ability than any single six-year-old. So one might have…

"I work on this school my son doesn’t go to, and I sponsor research that probably won’t help him, and I have a think tank to design institutions…

"Sometimes they say critical things, but I can ignore that. Some voices are jerks, you know? You end up having the same conversations sometimes,…

"I remember the first time I felt love, after all that. I don't even remember who it was—probably Sam. I just started feeling what it felt like…

"I resolved to do things that I'm afraid of. Doing this—talking all about myself and the hardest parts of our life with you—is something I can…

"I don't believe that we'll have an empty-nest problem. I think that would have been very different with a normal child, so I get sad about not being…

"I think most people I know, if a child had been given to them who was profoundly disabled, would have risen to the occasion. I need to believe that.…

"No one understands what it’s like; even I know what it’s like right now, and that’s all. I'm very happy to talk to you so long as you promise…

On his way to kindergarten one day, Drew Peterson asked his mother, "Can I just stay home so I can learn something?" Sue was at a loss. "He…

One woman told me that when her child was born, she had the rapist’s eyes. "Her beautiful baby daughter has her eyes," this woman said. "Now…

"The government should put more money into rehabilitating criminals so that they have a chance to turn their lives around. Most of us want to, if…

Shannon began bribing her son. "If you don't cry all week, I'll buy you a Barbie this weekend," she said. Each week they would choose the bribe.…

With access to reproductive technologies, we are conjecturing what kind of children will make us happy, and what kind we will make happy. It may be irresponsible…

A wise psychiatrist once said to me, "People want to get better, but they don’t want to change." But I would propose that it is only by allowing…

Most people expect to have children, and there are susceptibilities attached to that; I had expected not to have children, and the reversal contains stranger…

Children ensnared me the moment I connected fatherhood with loss, but I am not sure I would have noticed that if I hadn’t been immersed in this research.…

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