Thoughts from Andrew

Love

This book includes many stories of pain, but the surprise was all the joy. Parents found that children who initially seemed alien were captivating.

Challenges to the usual course of love can damage it, but equally, they often fortify it, and exceptional children awaken their parents to unexpected, unimagined kinds of beauty and tenderness.

"It was almost like I had lived in two very separate worlds all my life, Deaf and hearing. A lot of my hearing friends have seen the Deaf side. The…

"Parents of deaf kids should know not to be afraid, not to let their kid be afraid. My parents made sure I was never afraid." –Spencer Montan…

Barbara Matusky struggled to give her children a feeling of confidence. "The whole time they were growing up I said, 'You can do anything you want…

When I met her, she had recently undergone gastric bypass surgery. She had already lost 30 pounds and was aspiring to lose another hundred. "Being…

"I recognize the gift that’s been given. If someone had said to me, 'Betty, how'd you like to give birth to a lesbian dwarf?’ I wouldn't have…

"I went past a bar and I saw his car parked there. I didn’t think I could march in there like I wanted, but I left him three messages. So I thought,…

"The other day Clinton came home, and he goes, 'Ma, I saw a blind man today with a stick, in Manhattan. There were people rushing back and forth,…

When they were finished, Kiki announced that she would shave her own head, too. Her mother Crissy tried to stop her, but she was absolutely adamant. "Since…

"The primary job of most parents is to make their kids think they can do anything; my primary job is to take him down. Reduced to a sentence, it’s,…

"People still give up their child. People still have abortions when they find out. I'm not here to judge it. You hate lima beans, I love lima beans.…

"In the Torah, they describe building this huge tabernacle out in the wilderness with two angels facing each other, because that is where God exists,…

"If I could cure David, I would, for David. But I think that we've grown so much as a result of having to deal with this. We’ve had so much purpose.…

"Cece is the Zen lesson. Why does Cece have autism? Because Cece has autism. And what is it like to be Cece? Being Cece. Because no one else is,…

"I stay up almost all night, and do things I can do alone in the dark, where I don’t have to see people going about normal activities that I can’t…

"The word incurable is quite devastating-sounding, but you can also look at it as being that autism is durable. Looking at this jewel through different…

"I’m a fiction writer, and he is also a fiction writer, in his way. He creates other worlds; at times he’s lived in other worlds. There are characters;…

When asked what he was thinking, Malcolm Pease said, "I do not like sex or French kissing. There is gas outside of the Indian Ocean, and there are…

"It's almost as if in our social order we've learned to mask and hide. Schizophrenics cut right through that. For all of her contentiousness and…

When they finally interred her son Sam’s ashes, Sara Hadden said, "Let me bury here the rage I feel to have been twice robbed: once of the child…

"I didn't want to teach him. Such imagination can be very fragile. But his mother said, 'Clever and faithful helper, don't worry. He is interested…

One woman told me that when her child was born, she had the rapist’s eyes. "Her beautiful baby daughter has her eyes," this woman said. "Now…

"Can you tell me how to love my daughter more? " she asked. "I want to love her so much, and I try my best, but when I look at her I see…

"Thank you so much for being open and honest with us. Nothing has changed as a result of you telling us that you are gay and have a partner. You…

"When it first happened, I used to wish that I had never had children, that I had never married. If Tom and I hadn’t crossed paths at Ohio State,…

"I asked Tony whether he minded being called "Anne" and "she." He said, "Andrew, she thinks I'm a straight girl going through…

I started this book in order to forgive my parents, and ended it by becoming a parent. Understanding backward liberated me to live forward.

Because John was less sure about wanting this child than I professed to be, I had to act as cheerleader for the enterprise. I was full of hopeful infatuation…

Most of the parents I interviewed for this book said they would never want other children than the ones they had, which at first seemed surprising given…

Children ensnared me the moment I connected fatherhood with loss, but I am not sure I would have noticed that if I hadn’t been immersed in this research.…

Son Explore chapter from the book
Hope Explore other themes